My Writing Journey
My Writing Journey
I am sitting in a crowded and simply designed modern room in downtown Chicago. I am here for an op ed writing workshop. The words "the stories we tell become the world we live in" make me feel powerful and determine to say something, to use my words. I have no intensive training in op ed writing. I got a short workshop on op ed writing almost two years ago and I've been relying on that training. Lately my op ed writing has hit a snag. Suddenly it dawns on me that I am here to be a better journalist. A dream I thought I'd given up on my freshmen year of college.
I'd picked Syracuse University as my first choice for colleges and worked diligently to get in because of New House's Journalism program. So what happened?In one word- Fear. I didn't have the GPA at the time to get into New house directly so I went in the school of Arts and Science with the idea of transferring out after I got a higher GPA. I even took some classes in New House which I loved and did well in. They were extremely interesting and even though it's been 10 years I'll never forget reading about the 10 ads that changed the world or the paper I wrote on how women are objectified in ads.
I wasn't sure I was talented enough to make it as a journalist or even to make it at New House. I thought that with writing you either had talent or you didn't and I knew writing and using my writing to impact the world was my biggest dream. What if I didn't have what it took? Imagine living a life where you have no chance of making your dreams a reality- where you didn't have that power. I was too scared to find out. I convinced myself that newspapers were going out of business and that the print word was a thing of the past with the booming internet upon us. I didn't think I could make a living out of journalism either. When you're the first person to graduate from college from your family that matters. It felt like I needed to do something that at least would get me paid. I decided to leave my journalism dreams behind and go into the school of political science and pursue law. No I didn't become a lawyer either the truth is no career seemed to interest me or move me. I was lost after that moment. Still I graduated with a double major in Political Science and English. English was where I found solace-fiction became my home. It wasn't intentional either. I was taking English classes for fun while seriously pursuing my political science degree. By junior year I had so many english credits my counselor suggested I double major in english. In all that time I took one fiction writing class. The professor was impressed with my writing and he suggested I pursue a masters in Writing but I was too scared to be vulnerable to the world. But an idea for a novel had come to mind.
I've always loved school and I've always been a reflective person. There's a picture of me from when I was about 6 years old, I remember the moment I was taking that picture because I was thinking about how I was sad and I couldn't explain why but I did not want to take that picture. That reflective internal dialogue has been running inside me all my life. I've always had something to say. I think it was 6th grade that I began keeping a journal. Once I began writing it became an addiction that couldn't be calmed. I remember writing on notebook paper, printer paper, napkins, everywhere I could and even wrote in an old type writer my dad gave me. I had so many feelings pouring out of me and I opened the gate and let the thoughts flood out of me. Back then writing was therapy, it was my friend, it was what kept me sane through the darkness, loneliness and change. Yet for me to be a successful writer I needed to have a bigger purpose. It wasn't enough to express my feelings it needed to be about expressing those feelings in a way that mattered.
After college I went into youth organizing around education issues for 5 years. I had already organized as a highschool student. I realized that what I loved most about organizing was the relationships I was able to build with those young people so I decided to become an English teacher. I knew so much about education policy and I was deeply concerned about students and families of color. There are all these barriers holding students back from being successful maybe a small voice like mine had something to say about it. I found my purpose. I wrote two op eds that were published and I'm working on two more. As long as I have something to say I'll keep writing. I'm not so afraid anymore because if my writing can help at least one person it will be enough.
I don't regret the long journey I took to get to this moment where I realize that I want nothing more than to pursue my dream of writing to help change the world. If I had not pursued my english degree I would've never become a teacher and I would've never began writing op eds and rediscover my love of writing. Writing can take many forms and all writing is important. I'm not advocating for policy changes in this post but I do hope that people can realize that when you've found your "personal legend" don't let it go because everything else will seem dull in comparison.Yet also it's never too late to pick up your dreams and start building them again.
And about that novel... I'm still thinking about writing it. I've been looking at Creative writing master programs lately.
My Journals!
I am sitting in a crowded and simply designed modern room in downtown Chicago. I am here for an op ed writing workshop. The words "the stories we tell become the world we live in" make me feel powerful and determine to say something, to use my words. I have no intensive training in op ed writing. I got a short workshop on op ed writing almost two years ago and I've been relying on that training. Lately my op ed writing has hit a snag. Suddenly it dawns on me that I am here to be a better journalist. A dream I thought I'd given up on my freshmen year of college.
I'd picked Syracuse University as my first choice for colleges and worked diligently to get in because of New House's Journalism program. So what happened?In one word- Fear. I didn't have the GPA at the time to get into New house directly so I went in the school of Arts and Science with the idea of transferring out after I got a higher GPA. I even took some classes in New House which I loved and did well in. They were extremely interesting and even though it's been 10 years I'll never forget reading about the 10 ads that changed the world or the paper I wrote on how women are objectified in ads.
I wasn't sure I was talented enough to make it as a journalist or even to make it at New House. I thought that with writing you either had talent or you didn't and I knew writing and using my writing to impact the world was my biggest dream. What if I didn't have what it took? Imagine living a life where you have no chance of making your dreams a reality- where you didn't have that power. I was too scared to find out. I convinced myself that newspapers were going out of business and that the print word was a thing of the past with the booming internet upon us. I didn't think I could make a living out of journalism either. When you're the first person to graduate from college from your family that matters. It felt like I needed to do something that at least would get me paid. I decided to leave my journalism dreams behind and go into the school of political science and pursue law. No I didn't become a lawyer either the truth is no career seemed to interest me or move me. I was lost after that moment. Still I graduated with a double major in Political Science and English. English was where I found solace-fiction became my home. It wasn't intentional either. I was taking English classes for fun while seriously pursuing my political science degree. By junior year I had so many english credits my counselor suggested I double major in english. In all that time I took one fiction writing class. The professor was impressed with my writing and he suggested I pursue a masters in Writing but I was too scared to be vulnerable to the world. But an idea for a novel had come to mind.
I've always loved school and I've always been a reflective person. There's a picture of me from when I was about 6 years old, I remember the moment I was taking that picture because I was thinking about how I was sad and I couldn't explain why but I did not want to take that picture. That reflective internal dialogue has been running inside me all my life. I've always had something to say. I think it was 6th grade that I began keeping a journal. Once I began writing it became an addiction that couldn't be calmed. I remember writing on notebook paper, printer paper, napkins, everywhere I could and even wrote in an old type writer my dad gave me. I had so many feelings pouring out of me and I opened the gate and let the thoughts flood out of me. Back then writing was therapy, it was my friend, it was what kept me sane through the darkness, loneliness and change. Yet for me to be a successful writer I needed to have a bigger purpose. It wasn't enough to express my feelings it needed to be about expressing those feelings in a way that mattered.
After college I went into youth organizing around education issues for 5 years. I had already organized as a highschool student. I realized that what I loved most about organizing was the relationships I was able to build with those young people so I decided to become an English teacher. I knew so much about education policy and I was deeply concerned about students and families of color. There are all these barriers holding students back from being successful maybe a small voice like mine had something to say about it. I found my purpose. I wrote two op eds that were published and I'm working on two more. As long as I have something to say I'll keep writing. I'm not so afraid anymore because if my writing can help at least one person it will be enough.
I don't regret the long journey I took to get to this moment where I realize that I want nothing more than to pursue my dream of writing to help change the world. If I had not pursued my english degree I would've never become a teacher and I would've never began writing op eds and rediscover my love of writing. Writing can take many forms and all writing is important. I'm not advocating for policy changes in this post but I do hope that people can realize that when you've found your "personal legend" don't let it go because everything else will seem dull in comparison.Yet also it's never too late to pick up your dreams and start building them again.
And about that novel... I'm still thinking about writing it. I've been looking at Creative writing master programs lately.
My Journals!
Comments
Post a Comment